10 things

1. It's currently finals week, & I've never been the one that stresses out about finals. In fact, it's Wednesday & I'm done with all of them & I feel fine about each of them. But a little part of me can't help but feel a little bit like screaming.

2. It's late, but I'm drinking the awake blend of Tazo tea, it's possibly my favorite blend of the brand. Yes, definitely my favorite.

3. Frank Ocean's Forrest Gump is currently playing on Spotify, & I'm quite happy about it. 

4. I've not felt well for days, & earlier I thought I was going to pass out, but now I'm feeling much better. 

5. I started wearing my high school class ring again. It's been about a year since I've worn it, so it was interesting to get used to a ring on that finger again. 

6. Though it is so late, I really want something to snack on. There isn't any food around the apartment as we have to throw out everything over Christmas break, so I may venture out in the cold. 

In light of recent events:

"Racial injustice had sort of been born with the United States." I heard this quote while watching a video about "Bloody Sunday" and the March to Montgomery in preparation for a final exam this evening. It struck a cord within my heart and I felt the need to blog about it.

Hello, August

So, it's August 9th. Which means I'm 9 days late on writing this. I wanted to have a lovely post about August & the start of school. New beginnings and the sorts. But maybe that will come within the next few weeks as the semester actually begins. (Be on the lookout around August 26th!)

The last two weeks have just flown by & completely escaped me. I have so many things to do as I leave my small town life & head back to Pennsylvania for my senior year of college.

My to-do list gets longer and longer as I prepare to pack up my life once more & travel to Valley Forge for the last time.

However, in the midst of all the tasks I have left to do I wanted to escape to my little corner of the internet. 

I've had a lovely past few days. My dear old friends came up to visit. We ate pizza, made mojitos, & chatted while sitting in the kitchen floor. 

These friends are so important to me, & while I may have been a bit upset because I feel we didn't occupy our time together in the best way, I still loved seeing them. 

Though most everyone else left after the first night (Thursday), Michaela decided to stay another night (with the intention of packing up the house the next day) and we decided to have a girly pamper night with my mom. We stayed up far too late and ate far too many snacks. We also put on face masks (meant for the night before).

Storms

I want to be perfectly transparent - I've been going through some storms for what seems like forever now. I guess if I had to put in into an actual time frame, it's been about 4 years.

Dealing with Anxiety

So something that I don't normally address, is my personal struggle with anxiety. I hate admitting that there is something wrong with me on this sort of mental/emotional level. It's  defeating, & for me it's impossible to deal with. 

This issue, is still pretty fresh for me, it's only been 14 months since I've discovered that I struggled with this, & I only came to that conclusion because I had my first anxiety attack then. There isn't any reason for me to have such a problem. I just woke up one day. 

I woke up feeling nervous. I didn't really know why, so I just kept going, I got dressed & went to chapel (here at VFCC we have chapel daily at 10am). I had an 11:30 class, right after chapel, so I was on my way to it, when I saw one of my close friends. I looked at him & freaked out. I have no idea why. I was sitting in my class & all of a sudden I couldn't breathe, I could feel the tears getting ready to run down my face. I began to freak out because I was freaking out & I didn't know why. I somehow managed to walk downstairs to Michaela's class & she took me away to get coffee & calm down. The rest of the day I just sat in my room, afraid to do anything. I called my mom & she helped me come to terms with what I had gone through. A panic attack.